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Can I remove my keyholder or a witness?

Updated September 2026

Yes, and the two are different acts with different costs. Removing an accepted keyholder tells them, puts you back to solo, and locks the keyholder place for the rest of the term, so you finish that term solo rather than pairing somebody who would answer more easily. It also writes a 14 day floor under any early exit that follows it. Removing a witness is instant and costs nothing at all, because a witness holds nothing.

Cancelling an invite is not a removal

A keyholder invite that nobody has accepted is not a relationship yet, so cancelling it is deliberately cheap. It kills the invite and its tokens instantly and silently: no email is sent, nothing about your mode changes because it never changed in the first place, and no flag is written, since punishing a mistyped invite would be punishing a typo. Inviting somebody else afterwards is fully open.

One detail makes the dialog's promise true rather than nearly true. Cancelling closes every open keyholder invite you own in the same transaction, not only the one you tapped, so a second invite left over from an earlier attempt cannot keep a token alive after the app has told you that you will continue solo.

A waiting witness invite is cancelled the same way and is likewise silent, because nobody accepted anything.

Removing an accepted keyholder

This one has consequences, and they land in a fixed order. Your keyholder is emailed first, while their link still carries their address, so the explanation reaches them before their card stops working. Then the link is retired, its tokens are revoked, and you go back to solo. Their card serves one ending face for seven days and then stops answering; the seven days here is that card's last life and is not one of the exit windows.

Two things are written on the term itself. It is flagged so that no new keyholder can be paired until it ends, which is what stops removal being a two step swap for somebody more agreeable. And the exit floor is raised to 14 days ahead, taking the later of the existing floor and the new one, so a removal can only push the earliest possible exit further out. Removal is available on either kind of commitment, and only while exactly one is active.

Removal is refused outright while a keyholder change is in flight. Mid handover it would orphan the change and the takeover would put a keyholder back that you had just removed, so the app asks you to cancel the change first.

Removing a witness

Low stakes by construction. A witness holds no key, gates no exit and carries no friction, so removing one is instant and touches nothing but that one link: no solo conversion, no flag on your term, no floor on an exit. An accepted witness is told, once. Their place opens immediately for somebody else.

The road out of a term, with no keyholder Two roads to the same place. Drawn faintly above, the keyholder road: you ask, your keyholder has seven days, then at least 72 hours, then the release is ready. Drawn fully below, the solo road: you ask, fourteen days pass, then the release is ready. A dashed line drops from the keyholder's decision onto the solo road, marked silence for seven days, because a keyholder who never answers sends you down this road too. Both roads end at the same held release: every shield stays up until you take it, for up to seven days. LEAVING EARLY, ON YOUR OWN You ask Maria, 7 days 72 h Release silence for 7 days lands here You ask 14 d fourteen daysthe full wait Release is ready THE SAME PLACE Held 7 days for you to take it every shield stays up until you do
Without a keyholder, an early exit is a fourteen day wait and then the same held release. A keyholder who never answers puts you on this same road.

Where the controls are

  1. Open their page in the Circle

    Every ending action lives on the person's own page, at the foot of the list, and confirms through a centred system alert rather than a sheet. The alert's easy default is keeping things as they are, which is why the ending choice is the one that takes the deliberate press. A waiting invite offers Cancel invite; an accepted keyholder offers removal instead.

    A person page in the Circle with Share the invite link and, in red, Cancel invite.

    The person page

They can leave too

A keyholder can step away without asking you. Their page on the web confirms it behind their own device credential, so a forwarded link cannot resign for them. Most of it lands like a removal from your side: you go back to solo and the same 14 day floor is written. One thing differs, and it differs deliberately. Their leaving writes no flag on your term, so a new keyholder can be invited and can accept straight away. They cannot step away while an early exit is open or a handover is running, and they cannot take it back afterwards; they would have to be invited again.

A witness stepping away is the mirror of removing one. It deletes their link and nothing else: no mode change, no flag, no floor, no delay. Either way the person stays visible in their own place, dimmed and labelled Stepped away, until you clear them.

What this does not do

Removing anybody ends nothing about your block. The apps stay sealed, the sites stay blocked, the term runs to its end and the day count carries on. It is not a shortcut out: the same 14 day floor sits under every early exit that follows, and going solo does not shorten the wait, it lengthens it. It does not delete anything they already read, and it does not delete your own record: the receipt keeps every invite, acceptance, close and decision whether or not you clear the row. And it cannot be done while a handover is running.

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