My son is gambling. What can I do

If they are an adult, the phone is theirs

This is the sentence most parents come here hoping is wrong, so it is worth saying exactly why it is not.

An app that seals gambling apps on an iPhone does it through Apple's Screen Time controls, and an app can only use those on the phone it is installed on, with permission granted by the person signed in there. Nothing you install on your phone reaches theirs. There is no account setting, no shared plan and no support call that would seal an adult's apps on your say so.

The practical version of that is worth holding on to. Anything you set up without them can be undone in Settings in under a minute, and they will see that you did it. You would spend the trust you need for the next conversation and get nothing lasting for it.

What does last is an arrangement they enter. They seal the phone themselves, for as long as they choose, and they name one person who has to be asked before it ends early. If that person is you, then the block cannot come off quietly, which is the only durable thing an outsider can add.

If the phone belongs to a child, the answer is Apple's

This is a genuinely different situation and it deserves a straight answer rather than a sale.

Apple's own support pages state that Family Sharing lets a parent or guardian manage a child's device with Screen Time and parental controls, and that where it is legally required an Apple Account created for a child under 18 has to belong to a Family Sharing group. Apple also states that once Family Sharing is set up and the child's account is in the group, you turn on Content and Privacy Restrictions, which is what controls the apps and content they can reach. That is the mechanism, it is built into the phone, it costs nothing, and it is designed for exactly this.

Fold'em is not that. It is a commitment device an adult puts on their own phone with a second person named on it, and it has no parental mode and no child account. If your child is a minor, set up Family Sharing and use Apple's controls, and treat anything on this site as background reading rather than the tool for the job. Saying so costs us an install and it is the truth.

What being named actually gets you

If your adult child does seal their phone and names you, this is the whole of your part in it.

They share an invite link. You open it, read three rows that state exactly what you will and will not see, give an email address and type a six digit code sent to it. A Wallet pass then lands on your phone with their status on its face. After that, one thing can ever be asked of you: if they request an early end to the term, you answer it.

Keeping the lock is one tap on a page your email links to, and your phone confirms it is you first, so a forwarded link cannot answer in your name. If you keep it they are told, with no reason attached, and they can ask again after 48 hours.

Letting them out cannot be done at a distance at all. There is no approve button on any page, in any email or on the pass. They scan a code carried on your Wallet pass with the app on their phone while you are together, and even then a wait of at least 72 hours starts from the moment you said yes.

And if you say nothing, the server approves the request after seven days on its own, recording it as though they had no keyholder, which starts a wait of fourteen days instead of 72 hours. Not answering is slower for them, not safer. It is the one part of the role that surprises people, so it is worth reading what happens if you do nothing before you accept.

Whether any of this is your fault

It is not, and the design of the role is the argument rather than a reassurance.

Holding a key gives you one power, which is to answer a request. It applies to the blocks on one iPhone and to nothing else. You cannot start a term, shorten one, extend one or cancel a wait, and nothing you are shown would tell you whether anybody gambled: no app or site names, no browsing, no amounts of money, and no text they typed ever reaches a partner at all.

That means a green card is not proof that things are fine and a turned card is not proof that they are not. It reports whether the blocks on one phone are running. Parents in particular tend to read the card as a daily verdict on a person, and it cannot carry that weight. The help page on responsibility states the same thing from inside the app.

If it is your parent who gambles

Everything above applies with the roles reversed, and one thing gets harder.

The mechanism is identical, because it never depended on who is older: an adult seals their own phone, names one person, and that person answers one question when it is asked. A daughter or a son can hold a key exactly as a parent can, and the app has no notion of which of you it is.

What is harder is the asking. A parent is used to being the one who sets terms, and being asked to hand a child the ability to say no to them is a real reversal, not a formality. It helps to be concrete: you are not asking to be told what they spend or where they browse, because none of that is ever sent to you. You are asking to be the phone call that stands between a bad evening and an unlocked app.

If you are the one who would be asked, or the one asking, the page on how to ask carries the wording and the moment the request lands.

What none of this reaches

One iPhone, for a set length of time. A second phone, a laptop, a betting shop and cash are all outside it, and none of them produces an event that anybody sees.

It is also not treatment or advice, and it is not a substitute for the support that exists for families. The organisations on the page for people beside someone who gambles are named there first for that reason, and they are for you rather than for the person you are worried about.